There’s always going to be those certain people in your life that you wish would go away forever. Some close to you. Some strangers to you. For me it’s my “dad.” He is not even close to deserving that title! I just don’t understand how a “man” can look at his daughter in the eyes and every chance he gets try to kill her a little more and more inside. The sad thing is is there’s nothing left to take, to kill, to destroy, and to crumble. I’ve been told you should be happy that you have a fater a lot of other kids in this world would kill for one. What these people don’t realize is that by having a horrible man in your life that is supposed to be there to protect you, but instead tears you apart you builds these walls. Walls that protect your heart from anyother person out there even having the possiblity of getting close to it. I will never ever have the confidence that is rightfully mine, or forget all the hurtful deafening words that have been carved over and over again into my soul and heart. I think it’s how it should be. Being guarded is right. I should only take the walls down for the right people. It has taken a lot of battles on the inside for my walls to get thinner. Then you really think you find a ray of light in all the darkness. I actually opened up to him. Told him my true feeling let him in to see the real me. I trusted a complete stranger with my feelings of love and joy that were so guarded. I thought I might have found the one. An amazing man who had everything I was searching for in a person. He was the first guy I had ever said I loved so purely and truly. Those cute butterflies you get when you’re writing him a letter about your true feelings towards him. Your hopes are so high. You can’t wait to send it in the mail and surprise him. Then you speak to him, and bam he’s ready to move on. That light is no longer there and then for a short period of time i’m just left there in my own self pity. I’m left feeling embarrassed. I realize I was being taught a lesson. Though I don’t think I will ever fully let my walls down. I am excited for the next person who can let me open my heart up to them, and let them peak inside my world. You may think I am getting a little random. The reasoning behind the story is to show how much a horrible asshole can ruin your whole love life. Men want to wonder why a woman can be so complicated. I say look at her father and you will know. See women get their first idea and love for men from their father. weither your father is or isn’t in your life that is usually where a persons problems start with relationships. So DAD if you ever have the chance of seeing this which you probably won’t I shall say fuck you bastard and choke on a dick. Sincerely Me.
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BATHING SUIT ARRESTS, CHICAGO, 1922:
“Women being arrested in Chicago for defying a ban on wearing brief swimsuits in public. Women were meant to cover-up when not in the water”